You Can't Handle the Truth: A Review on Crack

[radiumgirl]

  

Dear Sammich,

First off, here are some Batman band-aids for your face. I stole them from Dean while he was sulking in the corner. Yes, sweetie, he's still pretty pissed, but I'm making a pie and I sent Cas out for ice cream, so just sit tight and shove these tampons up your nose. It's gonna be okay.

Maybe. 

But hey! Your squinty-confused face was back! I love your squinty-confused face! I missed it. And I missed you, bb. I think you're finally coming back to us though. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I'm sorry your life is one big AA meeting, but I wuv you. Please, come back. <3

Love, 

Radium Girl

Dear Dean,

Sweetie, I think you were a little quick to jump to the "put Sam down" option. I mean, after last week, you are more than justified in being freaked out, suspicious, and entirely unamused by your little monster brother, but I was thinking maybe we could tie him to a chair, cast some spells, poke around in that big empty spot where his geeky lil soul used to live, and it looks like we'll be doing that next week, and that's great, but I think these are things you should have done before you decided the best option was putting a bullet in his skull. Just sayin'. I think you might be getting things a little backwards. 

With that said, daaaaamn boy. Nice punches. I was waiting all forty-five minutes for that and you delivered. Bravo. 

Now, go say you're sorry. And hug. HUG, DAMMIT. 

It's hugs tiem nao, Dean. Yes, it is. Yes. It is. 

Tell you what, you go give Sammeh over there a hug and I'll share my pre-Halloween Party Jameson with you. 

Seriously? You won't even hug for Jameson? Do you know what kinds of shenanigans I have partaken in for this fine nectar of the gods? Two words, Dean: Funky Llama. 

Fine. Be that way. Go back to spamming Lisa's voicemail. I still stand by my belief that she'll come around eventually. It might help if you actually explain what happened. That whole "I can't really explain" excuse is total bullshit. Lisa knows the drill. She knows monsters are real. Therefore, if you explain to her "Oh, hey, I was a vampire. My options were either shove Ben away from my pointy fangs or suck him dry" I think...well...I think she'll still be upset, but she'll stop passive-aggressively implying that you're a child-beater or something. 

She was kinda harsh, wasn't she? 

Well, if you aren't going to hug Sam, you're going to hug me. C'mere you big pile of emo-- ow--- not the rope, Dean, I chafed last time!

All Tied up in Knots,

Radium Girl


Dear Sera, 

Are you trying to make wincest canon? I mean, this is what, the second or third time we've addressed how insanely co-dependent the boys are? I'm not complaining, ma'am. I eat that shit up. I'm just curious.

No comment, 

Radium Girl


Dear Bobby,

I love you. Please don't ever change.

<3,

Radium Girl

Comments

[twirlycurls.livejournal.com]

This is pure awesome win. :)

[radiumgirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks! XD

[tehjessica.livejournal.com]

I almost LOLed when Veritas was like Dean, "How do you really feel about your brother?" Dude, I'm not a shipper and even I interpreted the question of the middle school "Do you like Sam? Check yes or no."

[radiumgirl.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT?

[naatz.livejournal.com]

This season has been ridiculously wincesty up to now. \o/

|Meduza|

[radiumgirl.livejournal.com]

It has...and I like it.

I think.

Maybe.

I mean, I feel kinda guilty about liking it, but, dammit!

[naatz.livejournal.com]

I'm liking it a lot too. XD

|Meduza|