radiumgirl: (be kind)
[personal profile] radiumgirl

Title: ...and God has Turned his Back
Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, Cas (mentioned)
Word count: 465
Summary: Coda to 6.22. 
Warnings: Spoilers for the finale. Angst. Bobby!POV.
Disclaimer: Not my sandbox. 
Notes: OH HEY LOOK, SOME NON-FOR-KEEPS FIC.  I'm working on some whumped!canon!Dean. Consider this a prequel. This was actually the introduction to that fic, but I think it works on it's own. 

Bobby keeps his eye on them.

Dean started fixing the car as soon as his ribs healed and he could move without wincing. He spends most of his days getting drunk off his ass in the shop. He doesn’t mention hunting. He doesn’t talk about going after Cas. He vocalizes loudly with each pound against dented metal; softly each night when Sam wakes up screaming. Bobby always wonders how someone so deadly, so damaged, and so destructive…can be so gentle. He doesn’t like to think on it too much because it makes him want to drink until his liver falls out.

Bobby tries to give them space. He worries that as soon as the Impala is running again, they’ll be off. He doesn’t know where they would go or what they would do, but he knows it’s a complete pipe dream to think that they’d settle down; that maybe Dean would go back to construction, Sam would go back to school.

Bobby looks away when Dean reaches out to steady the glass of scotch that Sam is about to dump all over himself. He hears him pull a chair out at the table, the telltale rattle of someone else’s prescription being dug out of Dean’s pocket, “You need a Xanax, man?”

Sam shakes his head and Dean leaves a dose sitting on the kitchen table anyway. Sam stares at it for a long time before slipping it between his lips, washing it down with the fire in his glass.

Sam helps with the research. Dean picked exactly one fight over it, and Sam calmly reminded him that the wall was gone, “It c-c-can’t hurt me, Dean. I know everything n-now,” and Bobby braced for some catastrophic blow-up. Dean stared at Sam, and Sam stared back, unflinching, the knowledge of a thousand things he shouldn’t know burning bright in his eyes. Maybe Dean caught a glimpse of it himself. He nodded curtly and pulled the bottle of Old Crow out of Bobby’s desk drawer.

Bobby doesn’t know what Castiel’s game is. He was sincere about avoiding the apocalypse, apparently. He hasn’t smashed up any major metropolitan areas yet, smote any humans, as far as Bobby can tell, but the monster population has been sharply declining, whole nests, packs, and camps wiped out at a time, and the demons are practically in hiding. Bobby would celebrate the extra downtime from this lull in supernatural shenanigans, except he can’t help but feel like this is just the calm before the shit storm.

Dean is content to drown and Sam is still waiting for Castiel to throw him that life preserver he was promised. Bobby tries to hold on enough for all of them, but the ocean is deep and suddenly, so very very vast...

Date: May 23rd, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] si-star-x.livejournal.com
Oh, Sammich. *Smooshes* Yay Dean for fixing up his baby, and dude, his ribs were so totally broken. I loved this, it just feels right. <3

Date: May 23rd, 2011 09:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you! Dean's ribs were totally, at the very least, bruised. That was an impressive fall.


Date: May 23rd, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] si-star-x.livejournal.com
H/C fans dream. Hee. <3

Date: May 23rd, 2011 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wishflthinkr.livejournal.com
This really makes me wonder how much the show is going to go into the hell memories next season! And if they'll reference Dean's stuff too or what. I always feel like they forget about it lately.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
I'm not going to hold out much hope for any more hell memories just because of the show's track record, but that bit when Sam was standing next to the wrecked Impala does make me wonder. I mean, why put it in there if he's all hunky dory?

Then again, why do alot of the things the show has done if you're only going to ignore that it happened.

I would love to get some real screen time for Dean's issues too. I know there's some wank going on about the morality of his decision to wipe Ben and Lisa's memories and while the decision does strike me as a Really Bad Idea, I was so heartbroken for Dean at the end there.

Plus, the line that Sam had earlier, when Dean was torturing the demons, really made me pause. The one about running on coffee, liquor, and "whatever else you're on." I'm not, like, a worried soccer mom who thinks that idealizing Dean is going to bring ruin to the youth of America, but Dean's whole substance abuse issues are really starting to pile up, and I think that if you're going to have every character we interact with point that out, including Sam, then I think you need to do something with it. At this point, I'm more concerned about Dean's drinking and (potential) drug use than I am Castiel's nuclear bomb status. Then again, I'm still having a hard time believing that Cas is going to be "evil." I think it's going to be more like S4 Sam, delusional and misguided.

What a rant. Haha, I actually liked the finale, I swear.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wishflthinkr.livejournal.com
It seemed like he was still dealing with the stuff and it wasn't just magically repaired by putting himself back together subconsciously. I don't think we've seen the last of him dealing with that stuff. Or should I say, we better not! I would feel so cheated.

The memory stuff with Lisa and Ben... done to protect them, but seeing as he still remembers everything, they could still be used as leverage, they'd just have no idea themselves what was happening. So... it's not entirely logical, really. Though still heartbreaking, obviously.

They really seemed to have been referencing the drinking and other stuff a lot lately, but I can't figure out if that's going to actually mean anything or if it's just kind of like yeah, we know, oh well.

Date: May 24th, 2011 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
I would feel cheated too. I mean, we spent the past season biting our nails. I feel like, "SAM'S FINE. SURPRISE!" would be a huge cop-out and a waste of a(nother) storyline.

Personally, I'm still crossing my fingers for the return of powers!Sam. But I'd settle for drinking-too-much!Sam, especially if it meant, possibly, getting Dean into Rehab for Fictional Characters or something.

The memory stuff is just...I have memories that I don't particularly like or what, but they make me who I am and if someone just poofed them away, it would be like taking a part of my identity away and I don't know what kind of person I would be after that. So, there's the mourning for Ben and Lisa in that sense...but then you think about Dean's headspace and you've got to wonder just how low his opinion of himself is. GAH.

I miss silly slutty Dean. :/ Seriously, the current state of things in SPN-land just make me so sad every time I watch S1 and S2 DVDs.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thinlizzy2.livejournal.com
Really nice work! I'm looking forward to that whump!fic when it comes.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Eee! I'm so pleased to even have a bunny that involved whumping Dean. I've been trying and trying and trying to catch one for so long. I hope it's worthwhile.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmram.livejournal.com
Very intriguing! Looking forward to reading where you take this.

And Dean scares me. He just, he really scares me.

Date: May 24th, 2011 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
And Dean scares me. He just, he really scares me.

Me too. His inability to see his mistakes as he makes them, and reconcile those bad decisions as anything more than "just the way he is" is terrifying. It makes him really dangerous. That whole "road to hell is paved with good intentions" thing.

Date: May 23rd, 2011 02:26 pm (UTC)
ladyjane: whipped cream and hand-cuffs. "Got Plans?" (Boyz in da Impala)
From: [personal profile] ladyjane
*hugs Dean-n-Sam-n-Bobby*

Bobby always wonders how someone so deadly, so damaged, and so destructive…can be so gentle.
It truly is amazing how gentle he can be. I think after looking after wee Sammy for so long, Dean's paternal instinct is highly developed.

*volunteers for nightmare-soothing duty*

Date: May 24th, 2011 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Dean could definitely be an incredible parent in the right circumstances and an amazing person if he would just...let himself. *huggles him*

Nightmare-soothing duty pretty much consists of a massive cuddle pile, usually an hour or so after Sammy falls asleep. I'll see you there!

Date: May 23rd, 2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonfly-sg1.livejournal.com
Aw, boys *clings to them all*

This was great.


And LOVE the icon.

Date: May 24th, 2011 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Aw! *smishes*

Date: May 23rd, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quickreaver.livejournal.com
Really looking forward to seeing there this goes! We need more exploration of Dean's addictions and Sam's PTSD, IMHO! And I love 'outsider' POVs, though Bobby is the most inside outsider there is. Auspicious beginnings!

Date: May 24th, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com

I'm definitely working on companions to this piece. I'm frustrated by how much Show tends to avoid dealing with much of anything outside of ganking baddies. I understand that it's not "that kind of show" but after seven seasons, I think the fanbase is pretty dedicated and we've proven time and again that we don't mind talking about FEELINGS...

...not to mention, if you're going to keep hinting at such brilliantly serious issues every other episode (I mean, we got, like, what, three, four references to Dean's substance abuse, plus, what I felt was a very blatant shot of enabling!Bobby down there in the panic room) you NEED to deal with them...otherwise you're sending some pretty screwed up messages (or just being a lazy writer).

Ahem. *puts soapbox back in the closet*

Date: May 24th, 2011 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quickreaver.livejournal.com
*sneaks back and creaks closet door ajar, just in case Show's writers feel like being un-lazy and wanna soak up some of radium's righteous glow*
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