I don't even think they mean to do it. Like, things are so black and white to them and they are so isolated. They all live on the same plot of land in little cinderblock houses and trailers out by Seven Springs.
I think alot of what motivates them is this utter terror that they all seem to have for people and things that are different than what they are accustomed to. I really feel bad for them alot of the time, especially my cousins' kids, who range in age from 6 months to 15 years. I watched alot of them grow up, and it seriously breaks my heart to watch them go from these inquisitive, smart, precious little kids, into carbon copies of their parents and grandparents.
And then I feel bad for thinking that about my family.
I mean, they aren't monsters. None of them are about to run off and join the klan. But they're so unaware of themselves and the world around them and then they sit there and talk about the family getting smaller, falling apart, going to the dogs, and I want to point out that I try so hard to accommodate them. I don't push them away. They push me.
But to them, that's just the way it is. And I'm so curious to know how this would have all played out if my dad was still alive, because honestly, I know I wouldn't be the person I am today, but I still wouldn't be anything like them.
I'm not even sure how my dad ended up being who he was. Our whole branch of the tree is an anomaly. My brother did a genealogy search for school and found that our dad was the first in his family to move out of the state in 150 years.
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Date: May 16th, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)I don't even think they mean to do it. Like, things are so black and white to them and they are so isolated. They all live on the same plot of land in little cinderblock houses and trailers out by Seven Springs.
I think alot of what motivates them is this utter terror that they all seem to have for people and things that are different than what they are accustomed to. I really feel bad for them alot of the time, especially my cousins' kids, who range in age from 6 months to 15 years. I watched alot of them grow up, and it seriously breaks my heart to watch them go from these inquisitive, smart, precious little kids, into carbon copies of their parents and grandparents.
And then I feel bad for thinking that about my family.
I mean, they aren't monsters. None of them are about to run off and join the klan. But they're so unaware of themselves and the world around them and then they sit there and talk about the family getting smaller, falling apart, going to the dogs, and I want to point out that I try so hard to accommodate them. I don't push them away. They push me.
But to them, that's just the way it is. And I'm so curious to know how this would have all played out if my dad was still alive, because honestly, I know I wouldn't be the person I am today, but I still wouldn't be anything like them.
I'm not even sure how my dad ended up being who he was. Our whole branch of the tree is an anomaly. My brother did a genealogy search for school and found that our dad was the first in his family to move out of the state in 150 years.
Craziness.
/rant