radiumgirl: (brothers)
[personal profile] radiumgirl
Title: Thursday 
Spoilers: season 6
Genre: h/c, AU
Summary: Castiel didn’t come around much anymore.
Warnings: Spoilers and speculation for Season 6, broken!sam
Disclaimer: Not my sandbox.
Author’s Note: I noticed a distinct lack of Castiel in the For Keeps ‘verse, so I tracked him down and asked him why he doesn’t come play, and he explained and it turned into this very short (like, 700 words) drabble. In the For Keeps timeline this installment takes place...well...you'll see. 

It was the morning after and Dean was stiff and sore from sitting on the floor all night, curled protectively around Sam as his pained whimpers gave way to silent shudders. The sun was beginning to peek through the thin curtains and Dean’s voice was dry from overuse. He had been calling for Castiel since Sam stopped responding to him, but that was hours ago, and if it hadn’t been for Sam’s solid weight in his lap, against his chest, on his shoulder, Dean might have been inclined to throw a punch. Or try to. Or just threaten to, you know, to get his point across.

He settled for growling, “So, what? Was the line busy?"

“There is nothing I could have done.” Castiel replied softly, kneeling gracefully before the tangle of blankets and limps that was the Brothers Winchester. Only the very top of Sam’s head was visible, tucked securely beneath Dean’s chin, the rest of him hidden by the gaudy purple bedspread from Dean’s bed. Purple, with orange and brown flowers. Even Castiel, who was generally impartial to such mortal concerns, was put off by the ugly thing. He tilted his head, studied the lump that was Sam the way one might study a peculiar canvas or sculpture. “The wall—“

“It’s gone.”

“And Sam?”




Castiel leaned forward and moved to pull the blanket down. He paused and glanced up at Dean, “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

Sam tensed in Dean’s arms was Castiel peeled the blanket away, like stripping a caterpillar of its cocoon far too early. Sam flinched when Castiel’s fingers trailed across his forehead, turned away and burrowed deeper into the safe spot against Dean’s collarbone. Castiel pressed two fingers against the crease between Sam’s brows and Sam shook, tried to jerk out of Castiel’s reach, tried to curl into something smaller than anything he could ever hope to be. Dean pulled him back and Castiel pulled away, pulled his hand against his chest as though it had burned.

Dean glared over Sam’s tangled hair, “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Castiel shook his head, his expression one of pure devastation. “He can sense me.”

“Sense you?”

“That I am an angel.”

A hand, then an arm, emerged from Sam’s nest. The hand tangled in Sam’s hair and tugged and Dean gently rubbed the wrist with his fingers, trying to make the fist release its grip. “No offense, Cas, but I don’t think he likes it.”

“He is terrified.” Castiel agreed, “He is waiting for me to hurt him.”

“Why would he…oh.”

“Yes.” Castiel rose to his feet, backed smoothly away from Sam’s broken form, Dean’s bad impression of glue, “Oh.”

Sam’s knuckles were white as his fingers twisted and scratched at his scalp. Dean pulled at them half-heartedly, “What are we supposed to do, Cas?”

Castiel couldn’t tell if Dean was referencing Sam’s newfound angel-phobia or the entire situation as a whole. It occurred to him that he had not been summoned so fervently so that he may ask questions, but so that he could answer them. He tried to address both concerns, to, what was it Bobby said once? Cover all his bases. Castiel’s uncertainty must have shown through in the way he stammered uncharacteristically, because Dean didn’t say anything for awhile afterwards, and when Castiel departed, a little bit later, but still well before afternoon, it was a long time before Dean called him again.

“Perhaps…perhaps with time….”

Date: January 22nd, 2011 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonfly-sg1.livejournal.com
I'm just a puddle of goo. *bounces*

Okay, a bouncing puddle of happy goo.


Date: January 22nd, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
*bounce bounce bounce bounce*

It's eating my brain. Eating. My. Brain.


Date: January 23rd, 2011 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thinlizzy2.livejournal.com
Oh, poor Sam! And poor Cas and Dean; it's horrible to see someone you care about so frightened and traumized and know you can do nothing to help.

Date: March 10th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] si-star-x.livejournal.com
I love the fact that this outcome and scenario could so happen. I love catching up with 'verses that have several installments already... *Skips off to read the next one*

Date: March 11th, 2011 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Hehe, I refused to call it a 'verse until I had three installments done.

Date: March 21st, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
Three is the magic number. Metamorphosis verse and Photographs verse (both of which I wrote over 6.11-12 hiatus) had three fics each. This is why I am half convinced I can do 3 pieces of ODAD verse, but they are a bit more complex cause I have so many freaking plot points. That I am trying desperately not to drop. :P

Angel phobia. You know, I didn’t even get the why til AFTER Dean got it. I fail.

Date: March 21st, 2011 10:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
You can do it! You can! I'll even go steal the neighbor girl's pompoms and come stand under your window if need be!

Heh. It's okay. When I was writing it, I decided I wanted Sam to be terrified of Cas, so utterly nuclear meltdown terrified that it was best for Cas to stay away (because Cas has no place here, dammit) but it took me a ridiculously long while to articulate why the angel-phobia manifests.

Then it hit me and I was like, DUH SELF.

Date: March 21st, 2011 12:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
I had written a reply to this and it got eated, so I will try to remember what I said the first time...

First of all: abject terror of Cas is totally warranted. I mean, for all the reasons we discussed yesterday, Cas is kind of scary. No real empathy. No real way of being a friend or confidante or anything. Plus, and this might just be me, but I could totally see Sam as having post-hell vision, the way Dean had pre-hell vision and could see true forms and stuff. I mean, Sam spent an eternity being beaten and tortured and who knows what else (although I am totally taking recent spoilers to mean he had a more active role while in hell, so who knows what it was really like. Maybe we will find out in 6.22.) The point is (dolphins!), uh, the point is, if anyone has earned the ability to see Cas in his true form it is definitely Sam, plus we know that he *can* sense it, so in my headcanon for your verse Sam can TOTALLY see the huuuuuuuuge wings and the Chrysler buildingness.

I would not mind if Cas came back around and tortured Sam some more via his very being. Because I am a really bad person, okay? ;) But no, I think it is an interesting dynamic, seriously. Like, any point you wanted to have Sam regress, all you would need would be Castiel. That is pretty intense, no? ;)


Bad samidha.

As far as ODAD verse, I am now telling myself I can get two of the three pieces done that I want to write... before canon comes back. I know what I want the end of the verse to look like, but I think I might need to watch through 6.22 to make myself certain of where in the season six canon I want to slot it.

The whole verse was SUPPOSED to end with 4.22, and would have essentially done so with the piece I am writing now. But then Dean started to get *really angry* about soulless Sam and I had to write some of that. Dean does not want to go to the endgame without knowing Sam is okay. And, well, Sam is not going to be okay, not for a long time. (I can has spoilers.) So I am frustrated by what I know, but I think what I will have to do is wait for 6.22 and then write some kind of futurefic. Which I never do. I hate futurefic, for reasons I am not even clear on. IDK. I guess I just want past!fic all the time.

So yeah. I think I can manage the current piece and the Sam-goes-to-rescue-Dean piece before canon reemerges and then I will probably write the END end right after 6.22. But in the meantime there are SO MANY HOLES. If you consider how I wrote, like...practically the entire verse in pre-series and then started throwing darts at canon randomly... I only have like 2 pieces per season. Which I am fine with, because writing riffs on canon is hard. Being firmly AU is easier, you can make up whatever you want. But, for instance, 30000000 people have written better Mystery Spot fic than what I have written, you know what I mean? So those canon pieces are kind of daunting, and there are a lot of holes, but mostly that means I can write endless reams of SamnDean cuddlefic or mind reading fic whenever I want. Hee.

But yes, in my head the main plot points are dealt with in exactly three fics and then we are done. *gulps*

Date: March 21st, 2011 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
I hate when comments go MIA! *kicks LJ and tells it to do it's job better*

I'm with you on the post-hell vision. Sam can definitely see alot more of Cas than Dean can, hence all the cowering and the eye-covering and the freaking out. He also (moreso in Thursday than in this installment) has issues with differentiating between angelic presences. Sam's brain pretty much thinks ANGEL = PAIN.

I have a feeling Cas will be back eventually. Clearly, he wasn't going to stop when Dean asked him to, and luckily, Sam managed to keep it together and not have a complete meltdown. But now that Cas knows Sam is capable of filling his needs...yeah, he's gonna come back. And Dean is gonna be pissed.

That might end up being a larger plot. Possibly. I feel like I need more direction...but at the same time, Sam and Dean are never going back to hunting. Sam is going to continue to improve, but he's never going to be the same. It's just not going to happen.


But then Dean started to get *really angry* about soulless Sam and I had to write some of that.

Dean can be so persuasive, can't he? Especially where Sammich is concerned.

Throwing darts at canon...heee. It works though. I liked your Mystery Spot piece, and I'm looking forward SO HARD to S6 stuff. SO HARD. XD

...although I am totally taking recent spoilers to mean he had a more active role while in hell

Tell me moooar.

Date: March 21st, 2011 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
Jared said that we would find out what Sam did in hell. Not what was done to him, but what he did.

I totally take this to mean that he busted from the cage into Dean’s type of hell and was in general the boy king. ;)

I LOVE boy king Sam. Favorite kind of Sam. Sam Winchester is my demon Jesus. ;)

Re: S6 ODAD verse... those are Reconnection
http://samidha.livejournal.com/1202726.html#cutid1 (6.06-07)

Reflecting Pool (6.11 AU)

and Meeting of the Minds

I HOPE I am done with S6. Hopefully nothing else will strike me as wildly OOC on Dean’s part. Cause that would just piss me off. Heh.

Date: March 21st, 2011 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Jared said that we would find out what Sam did in hell. Not what was done to him, but what he did.

I totally take this to mean that he busted from the cage into Dean’s type of hell and was in general the boy king. ;)


Man, Sam is gonna be so not-okay when he remembers that.




These were so good. *cuddles dem boys*

Date: March 21st, 2011 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
I like your theory!

Heeee... are the boys not so amazing? Amazing!

Date: March 21st, 2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
I found you the comics. :D Now all you need is a comic reader. There are really good free ones, I have faith you will find them.


Date: March 21st, 2011 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Hehehe. I has a comic reader. Behold, the power of geekdom.

Thanks! <3

Date: March 21st, 2011 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com

I am psyched because I found Sandman on there. SANDMAN. Eventually I have to actually read it. I had access to the whooooole series in person a few years back... A roommate had it all because she had an ex who never collected his stuff from her, but I never read it then. I think it will be easier on a computer screen cause I am weird. :P

I can’t wait to hear your opinion on Rising Son!
Edited Date: March 21st, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)

Date: March 21st, 2011 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumgirl.livejournal.com
Sandman! I've been told I need to read Sandman. <3 Gaiman. Need moar Gaiman.

had an ex who never collected his stuff from her

Heh. I got my DVD player this way.

I don't mind reading comics off of the computer screen either. Especially because the books tend to be pricey sometimes and, unlike novels, I tend to not reread them a bazillion times, so I don't mind not owning paper copies.

Date: March 21st, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samidha.livejournal.com
For me, comics are very visually confusing and I don’t understand a lot of the conventions. But for Gaiman, I will give it a try. :)

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