Saturday, February 5th, 2011

radiumgirl: (holly and cat)
I think I'm still processing 6.12 because I can't think of anything terribly coherent to say about it. My thought process for most of the episode was something along the lines of "SAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMY" and *giddy!flail* and JENSEN ACKLES LOL.

So, I'll rewatch it later or something. Maybe I'll sucker Owen into watching it. He's coming over later because he's going to Michigan for that interview tomorrow and I feel bad about the fact that the last time he came over, I was mostly unconscious, except for when I wasn't, which was when I was crying and rambling and freaking him out.

I'd really like to know exactly what I said to him while I was hammered. He's been oddly nice all week. I mean, he's never not nice, otherwise I'd dump his ass, you know, but we've never been one of those crazy clingy couples either. We couldn't be. He was in school in Cleveland for most of the first two years of our relationship, and I was three hours away at IUP, and it never would have lasted if we'd been like that. Never.

This is also not the first time he's watched me go on a bender.

So, color me intrigued when he's literally called me every night this week, sometimes twice, tells me he loves me at least three times in every conversation, and randomly asks if I'm okay.


I'm a chronic oversharer when I'm sober. It's worse when I'm drunk. And I fear for what is going to come out of my mouth when I'm a demented old lady in a nursing home. I really truly do.

So I ask him. And he won't tell me, only says that I "worried" him. Big shocker there. I worry everyone. I mean, it's pretty sad when your cousins, who are on welfare, WIC, and foodstamps, drop a box of food off at your apartment because you jokingly said to your aunt that you're thinking of eating your cat.

Yeah, that happened. I called her back when they left and said, "I was kiddingggggg."

"You said you had no food in your cabinets!"

"I was exaggeratinggggg! There were hot pockets in the freezerrrrrrr!"

"Hot pockets are not food."

"Hot pockets are so food."

"You want me to put your uncle on the phone?"

"No, ma'am." Because my uncle would get on the phone and beg me to move into their hunting cabin because he said I can live there rent-free and it has cable and if I want internet that bad, he'll have it hooked up if I pay the difference.

The cabin (which is actually a double-wide trailer and very nice) is definitely a contingency plan, but it's a million miles from anywhere, in the woods, and there are bears there. Bears. Like, last summer, my uncle had to replace the siding because a bear tried to get inside.

Also? I am very stubborn and even if I starve and freeze to death, I will have done so on my own, so it's okay.

Sam Winchester, I feel your pain.

June 2011

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